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The other night I was somewhat anxious as Tim and I drove to the grocery store (or maybe it was McDonald’s), trying to put the pieces together of where Tim and I were going long term.  We are in the middle of a small transition yet again as we have decided to move in closer to the city when our lease is up at our current apartment.  However, this presents a litany of decisions we need to consider.  How far into the city, how much do we want to spend on rent, how much space will that allow us (um, with two dogs is that enough??), is an apartment the best choice, should we consider renting a house, should we consider buying a house (answer: hell to the no),  how do we find a place near the city and a good commuting distance for both our jobs, will I even have my job next year, should that be a factor in our decision making?

That’s a long list and that’s barely scratching the surface.  We’re trying to figure things out long term even if only little by little.  How much do we want to spend on rent, because that affects how much goes towards paying off debt and saving up for our house.  How soon do we want to purchase a home because that affects how much we’re willing to put into saving for it.

1 year, 2 years, 3 years 4?

Is it even right for us to be thinking about purchasing a house? Y’ know, since we might not be here in Houston forever.  And if we’re not going to be here forever how much effort should we really put into establishing ourselves? Why put myself out there for friendships and community when there is a chance we might have to pick up and start all over again.

I shifted in my seat and tried to jokingly present my concerns to Tim.  “Isn’t it funny how we still have no idea where we’re going in life?”

Tim could sense that I was not joking, but that there was some stress in my worried question.  What he said next made him the hottest husband of the year.

He squeezed my hand, smiled, and said “But we know where we are now, and if we need to go elsewhere in the future, He’ll let us know.”

So Sexy.

That’s my man, squeezing my hand and gently speaking words of wisdom directly from the Lord into my heart.  A marriage moment I hope to never forget. Simple yet profound (and so hotT**, did I say that already?).

We don’t know where we’re going, but we know where we are, and that’s what I am to focus on.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

Matthew 6:34 The Message

Many things have been brought to my heart and mind that I need to devote my attention to right now: serving my current students, building a solid foundation with my husband, forming community, finding the beauty in humility.

Yes, the Lord is currently doing many things in my life that I need to devote my attention to, he has brought me here now, I know where I am now, and that is where my entire attention should be.  I don’t need to get worked up about tomorrow’s endless possibilities, and I don’t need to be afraid, because God Himself promised that He would meet my needs when the time comes.  So for now I focus on where I am, I can do this in peace and joy because if the time comes where something needs to change, I will know because He will tell me, and He will help me.

And this is very good, because I am free to simply enjoy the ride, relax and find joy in the drive, whether that be to the grocery store or McDonald’s.

**Tim wanted to ensure that hotT was spelled with two T’s, hence I made sure that the second T was highly visible.

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After about a month away, I’m back! For the past month I’ve gone back and forth on things to write about, ultimately landing in between just taking time to enjoy my break and feeling (misplaced and unnecessary) pressure to write something spectacular.   Tim and I enjoyed two weeks of vacation over my winter break in Kansas.  We were finally able to see family again as well as get a hold of a few friends amid the busy holiday schedule.  I was very thankful for our time in Kansas, but I think I was more grateful to come back to Texas. Not because I was glad to leave, but because I was actually excited to return.  Return to warm weather, a job I like, the home I have with Tim, our bible study, Which Wich, and warm weather (did I say that already?).

Right now while I write this Tim is watching the KU v. K-State game (rock chalk), my dogs are playing together, and we have the windows open allowing fresh air to blow through our apartment (yeah that’s right, open windows in January).  The reason I decided to write tonight was because I finally had that moment of i love my life.  That moment I’ve been waiting for  since July. The moment where I realize that my home is here.  After several lunch dates, double dates, bible studies, hangouts, etc.  it is clear that Tim and I are actually forming community.  We have a lot of forming and growing ahead of us, but it is happening (praise the Lord, oh my soul, worship His holy name).

I’m syncing,  he is syncing,  we are syncing together.  We have our nice little family of 4 (just us and the pups, no babies in this belly), a city we are learning, and weather you’d have to pay me millions to leave (for maybe a day or so).  Even after days like today (which was pretty discouraging at work) I love my life, my journey, my husband, my family, and my Lord, all of which I find myself syncing into rhythm with each day.  I’m stopping here tonight, a nice short entry, but I’m adding a few pictures of my life here for those who would like a visual!

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